Monday, June 6, 2011
yikess
i had to delete almost every single post because i was fucked up the other night and may have told two people about my bloggg so now im either gonna have to make a new one or just not ever have one,.<333333333
Friday, May 20, 2011
1800suicide
talked for like 2 hours,
nuff said, sorry nothing else to say tonight, in a dark place, just wanted to cuddle with someone tonight
nuff said, sorry nothing else to say tonight, in a dark place, just wanted to cuddle with someone tonight
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Lets take it back...
Family, what exactly does that word mean? Is there more then one definition?
I like to think of family as people you share your blood with, people who (are supposed to) have your back at the end of the day, people you fight with and cry with, people you love and the people you hate, but what about a found family? In my eyes a found family is a group of people you DONT share blood with but you share everything else. As far back as I can remember I always felt different, not in a awkward way or an anti-social way..just different.
My immediate family consists of me, my brother Bobby, my mom Becca, and my dad Bob. Not to throw myself a pity party but growing up was less then a good time, my mom has Bipolar disorder but refuses to take her meds..My brother has the same thing but refuses to believe it. My mom used to hit me and my brother untill we would scream and cry, she always got what she wanted. My father was never really around while I was growing up because he worked a lot. It made me grow up a lot faster then I had anticipated, but none the less helped me later in life. Heading back to my first thought...
What makes a found family so desirable? Is it the fact that if one of them deceives us it may hurt less because its not our own flesh and blood doing the bad deed? It seems as if im harping on the thought..But my main quest is to find a family that I can build. People who have had a lot of trials and shit thrown there way and need someone to lean on who can relate. Like they say, "Misery loves company." Trust me, I know I sound like a lunatic..But I just cant seem to shake the feeling that im not alone with this thought.
"There are two great tragedies in life, the first is to lose your hearts desire. The second, is to gain it."
I like to think of family as people you share your blood with, people who (are supposed to) have your back at the end of the day, people you fight with and cry with, people you love and the people you hate, but what about a found family? In my eyes a found family is a group of people you DONT share blood with but you share everything else. As far back as I can remember I always felt different, not in a awkward way or an anti-social way..just different.
My immediate family consists of me, my brother Bobby, my mom Becca, and my dad Bob. Not to throw myself a pity party but growing up was less then a good time, my mom has Bipolar disorder but refuses to take her meds..My brother has the same thing but refuses to believe it. My mom used to hit me and my brother untill we would scream and cry, she always got what she wanted. My father was never really around while I was growing up because he worked a lot. It made me grow up a lot faster then I had anticipated, but none the less helped me later in life. Heading back to my first thought...
What makes a found family so desirable? Is it the fact that if one of them deceives us it may hurt less because its not our own flesh and blood doing the bad deed? It seems as if im harping on the thought..But my main quest is to find a family that I can build. People who have had a lot of trials and shit thrown there way and need someone to lean on who can relate. Like they say, "Misery loves company." Trust me, I know I sound like a lunatic..But I just cant seem to shake the feeling that im not alone with this thought.
"There are two great tragedies in life, the first is to lose your hearts desire. The second, is to gain it."
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